FMF – Dear

Here’s this weeks Five Minute Friday. Don’t know what that means? Head over here for an explanation.

IMG_9769Dear Tumaini,

I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Probably because I’ve been unable to visit you the past two days. Last night as I was laying in bed, I was just thinking about how I wished you were there with me. Sleeping soundly. Dreaming big, crazy, incredible things.

I remember the first day I met you. You came through the door in another volunteers arms and he handed you to me. I remember saying “this is the most perfect looking baby I’ve ever seen.” And you were so hungry. We couldn’t even give you a bath straight away like we usually do because you let us know you needed to eat RIGHT THEN. They told me your name was Tumaini, which means “hope” in KiSwahili. What a beautiful name, I thought. How incredibly fitting for this little child who was left outside, alone, only a few days old. Someone didn’t believe there was hope for this child, but against everything here he is, Tumaini, Hope.

DSCN1490-001I remember the nurse who was doing his rounds at Neema when you arrived. He looked at me feeding you and he said, “If you stay with him, he will come to know you like his mother, if you are just the constant person in his life.” I don’t know what prompted him to say this, and at the time I really didn’t think much about it. As I gave you your first bath, I remember being so nervous because you still had the clamp on your belly button. The nannies assured me it was fine, just don’t put water on it.

IMG_1342Over the months I’ve watched you grow. I’ve celebrated the milestones. When you finally starting reaching your feet and pulling them to your mouth I rejoiced. After a questionable diagnosis, we were very unsure of your development, but it turns out all the worries were for nothing. You’re strong and heathly and well. I remember when your first tooth popped through. I remember the week you had to spend in the hospital with pneumonia. You looked so tiny in that big hospital bed, struggling with each breath. Laying there listless. I remember how my heart broke, it was so hard to see you like that.

IMG_2699 IMG_2738Two weeks ago we celebrated your first birthday. We went out for a special lunch. It was so beautiful to get to share that with you, even if you won’t remember it. I’ll remember it.  I’m not sure where things will go from here, to be honest. I want nothing more than to bring you home with me. To lay you down to sleep every night and to be the first one you see in the morning. I want you to have a forever home, and I would love if it could be with me. So while I tread lightly, and try to learn as much as I can about the system here, I want us to keep making memories. Because even if I’m not with you forever, I for sure want you to understand just how loved you are.

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18 thoughts on “FMF – Dear

  1. Oh, what a beautiful post! One of the benefits of working in Africa is getting to see these amazing kids…:)
    I guess that’s one of the hardest parts to work with them and yet not being able to adopt them all. I hope the Tanzanian and American systems are not that strict and will make it possible for you. And for Tumaini. My parents were in the same dilemma back in Uganda and we were defeated by the German paperwork… Looking forward to how things will work out for you, keep us posted!
    Happy Friday to you and keep on making memories!

    1. Ah for sure. Tanzania is super super complicated, so we will see. God knows, and in time He’ll let me know. I just know I can love Tumaini for now at least 🙂

  2. This is a most precious post both in word & photo! I can understand while this little man has won a place in your heart. Praying for God to lead & direct you in the days ahead. May God’s hand be upon this little boy’s life & draw him to Himself at a young age. Grateful to have stopped here this morning from FMF!

  3. What a beautiful, beautiful post. I love your writing style, Kelly… so much heart and a real gift for storytelling. I’ll be visiting again! And your little friend is so handsome 🙂 love his name.

  4. imlovedbychrist

    An amazing letter Kelly! Pray that God makes a way and for little Hope to! One day He’s gonna grow big…bringing Hope to many lives around him!

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  6. Kathryn Shirey

    What a beautiful little boy – and beautiful story! You’ve given him such a gift of love already. Praying for you and him and for what God has in store for your future.

  7. Kelly…love your story – and pray things work out – for this beautiful child deserves a forever home and it sounds as if YOU deserve this forever child…so beautiful! And I love that his name means HOPE! So, as we HOPE and PRAY for you, know that you are blessed with this time you get to spend with each other. He IS precious!

  8. Pingback: Tano Photo Tuesday | Send Kelly

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