Do I know what being a mom entails? Am I even qualified?
My mind goes back to high school. I definitely had the “older sister” role down pat. And in some ways the “mom card”. There was often times where my parents were unavailable for various reasons and I comfortably stepped into the role of caretaker for my two younger siblings. There were also a handful of families I babysat for through out high school, and a church that employed me in their nursery. Working with kids was just something I did.
Then I think about all my summers at camp. The 0-2 year olds (during family camp) has always been my favorite place to be. I remember wondering if it was normal to be able to do things with only one hand (and a baby on your hip) as quickly as I could. Things just seemed so natural.
But of course at the end of the two hour period at camp, the kids went back to their parents. After a babysitting job, the parents always came back. And after all things, my parents were still around. I could always go back to doing my “own” thing.
I know that I cannot even fathom the vast quantity of “all things motherhood” yet. My life is still so transitionary. But I do know that I am so filled with anticipation to finally meet the babies of Neema house. In some ways I feel like this wait is a little comparable to having your own child. I know countless moms who have endured the 9 month wait, praying and preparing for their little one to finally arrive. I am also blessed to know some moms who waited (and prayed, and prepared) months and months and YEARS to bring their little ones home forever. (I don’t mean to exclude Dads – I just don’t have many friends who are Dads – I know you’re just as important!)
I’ve spent months praying for these children. It seems they are on the forefront of my mind often. I’m wondering how many milestones have happened since God led me to find out about Neema House. I’m sure it will feel like a milestone happens every day while I am there! How crazy and exciting!
So maybe I am not ready to be a mom quite yet. But I am ready to give all of my love. And I am ready to give lots of hugs and snuggles. I am ready to read the same book over and over and over. I am ready to be excited by the little things. I am ready to rock fussy teething children to sleep. I am ready to kiss boo-boos. I am ready to cry. I am ready to mourn and celebrate as children go home. I am ready to learn. I am ready to rely of Him like never before. I am ready to learn how to love with reckless abandon. I am ready to know and believe that every child deserves a chance. I am ready to be part of the solution. I am ready to watch these children grow up to change the world.
photo credit: http://thefreckledkeyphotography.com/