Time is winding down. Or winding up. Three weeks from today I will be boarding a plane to Tanzania. Three weeks…. 21 days…
I’ve been spending a lot of time talking to God about love. What does it mean to love the least of these? How will I love with reckless abandon, knowing those I am loving could be gone tomorrow? How can I pour out all my love? How can I invest fully with such uncertainty? Each and every day will bring new questions and unsureness. The child I hold in my arms and lavishly love one day could go home or to a new home the very next day. Can my heart handle it? How do I love with holding nothing back?
In the midst of all these questions, His voice is sure. His voice is unwavering. His voice is true. He says, “Love is the constant process of giving, giving, giving. Never seek to take anything, but You will receive by giving. Give, give, give. Open yourself to receive as you give all that you are. Receive all you need from ME and give yourself away. You will never run out. You will never run out. Beloved, receive all you need from ME, in Me alone. Look to Me for reassurance. Look to Me so that I may tell you who you are. Let Me tell you who you are so that you may have confidence to give what I have given to you.
It is in loving that you learn to love.
It is in loving that you learn to love. And I am not asking you to know how to run when I have only just taught you to walk. I am asking you to hold My hand and pick up the pace as I do, as I show you how. You have no reason to fear. Believe. Trust in Me. I am teaching you. I am teaching you to give yourself, to surrender fully. I am showing you what abandonment looks like. I am showing you how to lay your life down.
Give, give, give….It is in loving that you will learn to love. So give all you are to Me and I will show you how to love.”
And so I will trust. I will love with reckless abandon and know He is faithful and He will complete the works that He has started. And when I feel empty, or that I just do not have any love left to give, I will remember His word and His promises, that He is Love, and that He will never leave me dry.
I am learning to love, by giving. I am learning to love, by loving. And I know it has only just begun.
EDIT: This song has been playing on repeat all morning, and it is quite similar to the theme of all this.
listen here: https://soundcloud.com/rahab-farghali/sean-feucht-songs-for-nations
What does it matter if I gain the whole world and lose my soul
What does it matter if I can raise the dead, but you don’t know me
I wanna be a lover. Make me a lover, God (repeat x4’s)
What does it matter if I give all to the poor but I give You nothing
What does it matter if I’m busy with good things but my love is fading
Teach me how to abide in You,
Teach me how to bear much fruit